The Jungle, Book selling children

In fact, because we would be crossing yet another time zone we essentially rose at 2.30 Cambodia time. To our great surprise breakfast had already been laid out (we are now of the opinion that cosmopolitan hostel is one of the best we have stayed in on the whole trip) so we munched away and set ourselves up for the day. A painless trip to the airport and a two hour flight later we hit the tarmac in Cambodia. After purchasing the first of a few very expensive visas we exited and met 'Adam' who had come to pick us up (Stu got very excited about seeing his name on a sign at this point). As we followed him through the car park we soon realised we weren't heading for a minibus or car but Adams' Tuk-Tuk! This was our first proper Tuk-Tuk experience (the ones in southern Thailand really don't count) and it was hilarious. After quite a size able journey Adam refused to accept a tip, but did recommend his services for vising the Angkor temple area over the next couple of days. It turned out his prices were very competitive, his English was pretty good and we liked him so after settling in and sampling very cheap and very delicious food from the guesthouse menu we planned a two day attack on the temples with him, the two days being the current day and the next!

So at about 11 o'clock, with us feeling like it should be about 6 in the evening we set off on his 'big loop' which included five temples of various forms and sizes. I can't really describe the atmosphere in and around the temples, but it was a damn good day. Adam whizzed us around and we were free to explore each one at leisure, taking as long as we pleased. As soon as we popped our heads back outside he would appear out of nowhere to take us to the next. The temples are magnificent and a Tuk-Tuk really is the way to see them, sheltered from the absolutely baking sun and humid heat (40+ and the humidity has to be experienced to be understood!!) as you travel with no effort required, at a fast enough pace to make a good day out of things with Adams entertaining anecdotes to boot. The other side of the day was the constant harassment by locals trying to sell you every imaginable product under the sun. All of them for a dollar it seemed. 'Cold drink for you', 'Pineapple Sir?' etc. Sometimes this is entertaining, but when little kids are trying to sell you postcards, or are tugging on your arm to persuade you to buy a book with little puppy dog eyes it can also be heartbreaking. You have to have a heart of stone to turn them down, but you simply can't buy everything!!
By the time we reached our guesthouse in the evening we were whacked, but fulfilled. It was OK though, because day two was sunrise at Angkor Wat, and a 5am start!! Straight to bed...

We woke up early and couldn't find Adam, then we realized he was sleeping in reception! After he emerged and saw us waiting he ran around like an idiot apologizing profusely despite there being absolutely no need. Thinking he may have compromised our chances of seeing the sunrise despite being maybe two minutes late, we sped to Angkor Wat at extreme speed overtaking all the other Tuk-Tuk drivers! We had not missed the show, and despite not getting the most beautiful or colourful of skies there is certainly an impressive atmosphere at this majestic and very well preserved Wat in the morning light. See photos! We spent a lot of time looking around and also fell foul of restaurant number eight who gave us good price on breakfast and a lady selling paintings completed using a spoon. We have these paintings rolled up in our bags and have absolutely no idea how we are going to keep them in one piece and get them home, but hey we got good price there too. In fact, we seem to be really lucky everywhere we go; we always get special good price. On this particular occasion we got special morning price. Just for us! How privileged we felt...

Anywho, after Angkor Wat, with the temperature soaring at about half past nine in the morning, we completed the rest of Adams' 'little loop' and once again had an awesome experience doing the rest of the more famous or unique temples in the area. By the time we reached the last one we were feeling a little 'templed out' but we felt it was well worth spreading out our exploring over two days, if only to spend some more time with Adam, who we realised had been taught English by someone who was very camp! That evening we sat around sharing stories with other people in the guesthouse and had planned to go out that evening with Adam and some of the other staff, including Mr. T, 'like in the A-team' who was great fun, but who also, after scooting back to get us in a rather tipsy state gave us a really interesting insight into how lax drink drive laws are and Cambodian dating/marriage. He had a few very heart wrenching stories relating to the very archaic cultural rules that still apply out here, which are genuinely very shocking. He also got an HIV test after simply kissing his first western girl... which was clear... and then got three more tests at his mothers demand just in case. Our early starts and the heat caught up with us though and unfortunately we didn't make it out and just continued to sit around talking to fellow travelers and other Cambodian staff and Adam as they dipped in and out.

The next day we completely changed our Asia plans (sorry mum, most of the dates on that email are now wrong!!) and after cycling into town and looking round some markets we headed straight to Phnom Penn where we have been holed up in Nomads with a couple of English girls from our dorm. The evening we arrived we went out for a few drinks together and yesterday, after going to the wrong museum, finding out the royal palace was shut and getting lost in a market we had a very sombre day as we explored S-21, a Kymer Rouge interrogation and detention centre and Cheung Ek killing fields, both being as horrific as they sound, shocking us to the core as we learnt about this countries troubled (and by god, recent) past. Even our Tuk-Tuk broke down in protest. We are still mystified a) as to how some of the atrocities committed under Kymer Rouge rule could have happened, and b) why no bloody bugger did a thing to stop it. The Kymer Rouge still had a recognized seat in the UN in 1990!!! What the F***.

In the evening we went to a curry house and made ourselves very ill by eating a huge selection of dishes and Lassi's (all you can eat rice and chapattis playing a part) before finding an Irish bar to watch the FA Cup semi in, getting very excited, drinking beer and then shamelessly celebrating in front of Tottenham fans. Mwah Ha Ha.

PS. Larry is dead. R.I.P.
PPS. Has no-one noticed the theme to the last few posts yet?!

Les Journey Miserables

So off to Ko Pha Ngan it was, easy as that, "no it's OK we don't want one of you combo tickets Mr Travel Agent, we will do it ourselves, we are super lads...". Uh Oh! In theory the plan was good, ferry, bus, ferry, simple. Unfortunately due to misleading information in the 'Traveler's Bible', the bus took longer that expected and the ferry was twice the price. We also missed the day ferry options so had to take the dreaded, cargo filled, night ferry. Luckly on arrival, we were impressed with the ferry's cribatronic set-up and the low patronage, with the boat only comprising of us, a Swiss stoner shell collector, a Thai family with hamsters and a few chickens. The ferry arrival was even nicely delayed by an hour making a 6am docking...

We opted to head for Haad Rin, the party town on the island. However, with Full Moon having been and gone, this town was pretty dead, but perfect for a chilled few days with both of us suffering from the horrific symptoms of 'Man Flu'. This also made accommodation easier to find, thus getting a centrally located private room in the 'Hill Side Bungalows' for a fraction of a Full Moon price.

After a wander around town, I decided to try and complete a secret travelling aim of catching a fish on each of the 4 continents (mainly to make Dad and Phil jealous) and with only Asia left to tick, I booked myself on a evening fishing trip for that day. With swift transport to the departure point and a rapid beer stop, I got our our long-tailed fishing boat with 5 Danish louts, a strange Russian couple and a Japanese chimney and headed out into the Gulf of Thailand. The fishing started slow with only the guide catching fish, stating how we were 'just gonna eat fry rice hahaha', however it eventually picked up with the female member of the Russian couple catching a huge White Snapper without really realizing what was happening, devastating! It of course wasn't long till I had hooked into a Snapper of my own and got the nod it was bigger enough for the BBQ later, happy! I even managed to sneak out a couple of Grouper whilst the BBQ was smoking away. After our feast of freshly cooked fish we headed back, only for our engine to blow at 11.30pm and have to get towed in with the Thai guides still laughing and joking away about how mad their wives would be, real super lads.

The next day came and it was time for the obligatory scooter rental day to circumnavigate the island. On route we saw a waterfall with no water, walked to a scenic viewing point sweating buckets before reaching a snorkeling destination in the islands northern region. Unfortunately the underwater world didn't quite match up to the delights of Ko Phi Phi but was good fun all the same, even with the world worst snorkels! The we took a nice leisurely cruise along the coast, stopping only to take in the beauty of the Island and it's surrounding seas. The big evening we had planned unfortunately never materialised because we were both shattered and the island was in a sleepy rest between moons. We did manage a quick viewing of Chelsea beating Utd which was much to the approval of the local Thai boys.

In an attempt not to repeat previous mistakes we brought one big ticket to take us back to KL that started by taking the night ferry. In preparation for this we spent our last day on the island just chilling, catching some rays, watching some F1 (that was in KL, nearly such good timing) and annoying our hostel owner by just smelling in his common area and not buying anything. Finally after one last meal with fried rice lady, our personal cook on the island we headed for our night ferry and the start of our 4 leg, 28 hour journey back for our Indian Visa!

The journey started very uneventful with only the night ferry getting in early (4.30am) causing any bant. However the full, cramped minibus from Surat Thani to Hat Yai (leg 2) induced much more excitement when after a seemingly routine stop, the driver lifted the seat and the engine decided to spontaneously combust making the minivan temperature reach boiling point, literally! Lucky what would have caused a 2 week delay in England was fixed in 20 minutes, new fan and all and off we went. Leg 3 and another cramped minibus over the border to Penang before hitting leg 4 with a Hitler-style conductor and a 1.30am arrival back 'home' to KL, smelling like very smelly people.

Being back in KL meant one thing, finally getting hold of a coveted Indian Visa which after two more visits to the office and 30 quid I can officially confirm we have! Happy days. To pass the time in KL we also frequented Batu Caves which houses the biggest statue of some Hindu person in the world but more impressive were the huge caves and crazy monkeys that were running wild inside. We also cruised around the Golden Triangle, the CBD of KL and got up the Petronas Towers to the view deck to marvel at this engineering master piece one last time.

Tomorrow we are off to Siem Reap in Cambodia, the home of Angkor Wat, just set the 3.30am start time into the Casio, could be a long day.....



P.S We hoped never have to say this, but unfortunately Larry the Laptop is terminally ill. Due to 7 months months of abuse he now rarely wants to turn and and even when he does its not for long. This may mean that blog posts from now on could be shorter (I can see you celebrating already) and have a lack of picture but we will try our best!

Treasure Islands

Having come to terms with our predicament in the fan room helped by a timely storm to cool the air we caught some sleep before arising and renting a Honda ‘Air Blade’ and a Honda ‘Click’ from our hotel. We zoomed off into the frantic Phuket traffic with only a couple of decidedly dodgy helmets to protect our precious bodies. Having decided to head to the ferry terminal and sort out transport for the next leg of our trip we promptly got lost, a fact that was clearly very evident to the MotoTaxi driver who kindly offered to show us the way for ‘no Baht’. We weren’t sure about this but he was true to his word and led the way asking for no payment... good job too, we may still be going round in circles if he hadn’t.

Having not bought the tickets we came for we instead headed north with more navigational success, but decidedly frayed nerves as we negotiated the truly crazy main roads, with people swooping around all over the place on their various scooters/cars/buses/weird contraptions. We made it to the protected rainforest and saw some elephants!! They are very strange animals indeed, I made friends with a baby who was clearly very happy to see us (the others were far too big and scary to approach!) and can also conclude that they don’t feel like you would expect either. Unfortunately these guys were being kept for rides and we weren’t sure about the conditions (some chains etc) which gives us a mild moral dilemma as we really want to do elephant riding in Chang Mai. We will have to find some with better homes. Anywho, onwards we went to a rather disappointing waterfall and a Gibbon rehabilitation centre, which had some gibbons in it. You heard it here first. We then whizzed round the top of Phuket and decided it was beach time, so we took a wrong turn and headed in completely the wrong direction for a while before realising the folly of our ways and turning round. After some dipping, a light toasting and our first Chang beer we continued tops off. Big call, but we figured if anything happened there was a 99% chance we would die, so we might as well go down feeling a little cooler and catching some rays. To our delight we made it all the way back in one piece through rush hour uber tight gaps traffic, parked the scooters and decided that was enough! We then went across the road and found an amazing little Thai kitchen, lovely food, 80p. No complaints here.

The next day we hit up the beach again and planned to catch the Grand Prix in a beach side bar. You cheeky buggers decided to move the clocks forward without telling us though so we missed the start. Good race though! And another nice Chang beer. On the way back we caught the usual bus which unusually stopped by the side of the road a little while later and told us we had to catch another bus ‘in five minutes’. To be fair, it was about five minutes but this transport was rammed. Like packed. Cue hanging on the back of the bus for half an hour through same perilous traffic complete with weaves. Health and safety really doesn’t exist here!

Having gorged on Phukets delights we boarded a ferry on a course for the Phi Phi islands, which are truly awesome. Possibly the most like paradise of all the crazy good places we have been on this trip. We flopped around the bustling little streets and sipped on fruit shakes from spring roll lady (Yoohoo!) and after getting our head around everything on offer we booked onto a full day cruise round the island the next day. Then we did something particularly stupid (even for us). We took the Reggae at teir word and went for the 'Burger challenge' See picture for the details of this challenge. See also how we would have thought there was a slim chance of us pulling it off and getting the most amazing meal free. However, we had not accounted for the onion rings. The burger was gargantuum but manageable under pressure, the chips were piled on, but possibly sinkable with only minor pangs of sickness. The BOWL of coldslaw was unexpected but not particularly filling so may have been boshable... but the onion rings. Oh my, the onion rings. Each one as big as your fist, and generously battered witht the most filling and sickly batter. There was no hope, from the outset we know we were doomed. I can't now look an onion ring in the face. Even after our best efforts we still had 18 left each. Thats the amount we had left mind, we had already sunk hundreds of the buggers. Needless to say that got their money and we got very sick.

What a day the next day was! With so many tourists on nearby Ko Pha-Ngan for the full moon party, there was only ten people on our rather large boat, and about 7 staff, who clearly decided that there was too many of them as well and proceeded to get pissed and smoke things while they took us round the highlights of the area, pointing out the best snorkel spots, which are probably ‘best’ in much greater contexts aswell, the best and most famous beaches (including Leo’s “The Beach”) and walks and swim spots. We saw so many corals and different types of fish, some in huge shoals in front of our faces I wouldn’t know where to start; I even glimpsed a reef shark. By the time we reached our stop for sunset and rain decided to join us we had had such a good day that we cut our losses and declared Chang-o’clock and got tipsy with the crew, playing tunes and dancing on deck in the rain. The party continued into port... and on into the evening! We met up later with a couple of girls we had met on the boat, drank more Chang and then headed to the Full Moon party that was going down on Phi Phi, on the beach. We got a free bucket of cocktail each (literally a small bucket) and made merry, before catching the Man U game at half one in the morning and then collapsing. Even the slightly dodgy looking, condensed form of red bull they have out here couldn’t keep us from our pillows.

Today has been our last full day here on Ko Phi Phi and we have just wandered and enjoyed its beauty, eaten even more spring rolls from spring roll lady and browsed the markets. Tomorrow we head back to the main land before making our way to Ko Pha-Ngan for no doubt more beach side boogieing.

A journey to the centre of humidity.....

It didn’t take long on our evening wander to spot the Towers out. They were, until 2004, the tallest buildings in the world, and are an incredible spectacle at night. Obviously, both being engineers we were bound to like them, but they even took us by surprise with their immaculate lighting and seemingly endless height. When we go back to KL we will defiantly be having another look!

With our Indian Visa still causing problems we decided to take a few days out from KL and head to the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia. This is Malaysia’s tea plantation hub and also the ‘coolest’ part of the country with temperature rarely exceeding 21C. Arriving around midday we spent the first day relaxing, eating more superb Asian meals, viewing the World’s least impressive waterfall and making a large error when ordering a pudding...After deciding we deserved a treat (‘Tis a hard life) we argued over who was to try the ‘Ice Kasang ABC’ and who had to endure the ‘Cendol’, without knowing what either dish contained. We settled on sharing and when they came out we knew we had cocked up. They both had the same base of rice flour and brown sugar (OK but very sweet), with the ‘Kasang’ containing sweet corn, kidney beans and a horrific brand of jelly and the ‘Cendol’ having some inedible Steve: “green shit on top”. Both equally disgusting and hilarious for the staff watching our faces!

The next day was tea plantation day, and we set off on a bus (that left its ticket lady at a random stop and then she miraculously appeared again 20 minutes later, strange) and then a long hike through the plantation to the tea house and factory. Accompanied by a Canadian couple we drank some local ‘BOH’ Tea and walked through the factory watching the Umpa-lumpa’s at work. We walked back instead of catching the bus only for the Australian Monsoon to catch us up just before the Tanah Rata Golf Club. Cheers. The evening was spent master-planning as our Indian Visa was still not ready for collection so we decided to cut our losses and head for Phuket and the Thai Islands, before coming back to KL to pick up the Visa, then fly to Cambodia so we don’t loss any time, make sense? Good.

And so the journey begins....the route between the Highlands and Phuket had three legs. Leg one was to get to Butterworth in Malaysia. However, after 90 minutes the bus decided it didn’t need a drive shaft anymore and left it on the road. The sound had to be heard to be believed. With another bus kindly giving us a lift to the next town we had to wait 45 minutes for a Butterworth connection. When it came after an hour we got on to find a passenger in the form of a loose chicken on board, very random. Leg two involved getting from Butterworth to Hat Yai in Thailand and therefore crossing the border. This journey could not have gone any smoother as it seemed we were the only bus at the border and with only 5 passengers we were away in no time. Then leg three, Hat Yai to Phuket. We opted for the 9.30pm so we would get in at 5am, early but the best we could do. Unfortunately, the regular driver was ill and Fernando Alonso took the wheel, cue a 3.25am arrival in Phuket! With nowhere open, we killed a very boring and slightly scary 4 hours at Phuket Bus Station.

As I am currently writing this we are in our fan assisted double room in Phuket town, trying to cool down from being at the beach today. Phuket is by far the hottest and most humid place we have been so far. Those of you reading in England should spare a though for us here, sweating constantly in some tropical paradise.....

A tale of two continents

After the massive night on the pub crawl we woke up bright and early. Not sure why, but we did. For some reason we can't seem to lay in anymore, so we staggered about in the bright morning and did some jobs, like getting the underwater photos developed and buying a fishing rod from a pawn shop!?!

Stu utilised this weapon the next morning and then promptly pawned it back in about 36 hours after he bought it. We lazed around in Cairns lagoon with Steve and new bez Ted for most of the rest of the day and lamented our lost football which unfortunately put pay to volleyball games. We also bumped into some of the girls from our Fraser Island trip who had just got back from the Whitsundays. Grrrrr. We actually quite like them though so we teamed up and planned the evening. It was Paddy's day after all! Some Guinness? Or more Goon. Well, goon is cheaper, and the chardonnay we bought was also very, very delicious...

We played some very noisy drinking games as we endeavoured to get rid of the stuff and had a fairly sizable posse, swelled to include some Welsh and Norwegians, by the time we headed into town to dance our boots off. Stu preceded to get so transmogified that he was found in another hostel in the morning as naked as the day he was born, spread-eagle on some poor unfortunate souls bed. We can only be thankful that someone was there to see it so the story could be told!

This little skirmish into the Australian night drew a close to our proceedings in this continent and we boarded a plane headed for Singapore (via a sausage roll in Darwin). Singapore certainly livened the senses after essentially a three week beach holiday in Aus. Colours, smells, lights and multiple hundred crazed drivers. We stayed in a little neighbourhood close to the centre and wandered about in the evening and ate a massive plate of (very delicious) Chinese food for about a pound. After this however things really did catch up with us, and with some of the comfiest hostel beds to date waiting, we turned in.

Fully refreshed the next day we set about exploring Singapore proper and hit up the CBD, Chinatown (perhaps the craziest yet) and the waterfront areas which gave great views of the city. After visiting a large temple we both decided to convert to Buddhism, but we are having some teething problems with the '5 Precepts'. We also took a stroll, sweating profusely, to the Singapore flyer, but before we got near we stumbled on the F1 track! Pretty darn cool, a deserted pit lane and grid all to ourselves. We also worked out the buses, which took us back to our South American days - all the tiny offices all with the 'best' price. After a lunchtime special sweet and sour pork we headed to the colonial area and saw and somehow wandered into the Raffles hotel which was very east of India, conjuring images of cigar smoking and very fine cut suits. In fact, lots of people in the markets were trying to get us to buy tailored suits. Could they not see we were melting?! Last but not least, we strolled down Orchard Road which is perhaps the most ludicrous shopping district I have ever seen. Skyscraper shopping centres lined the streets, everything was shiny and clean and expensive and we were blasted by ice cold air-con at every shop entrance. We also caught some sort of performance in the street here by some school children playing piano-harpy things which was quite cool.

On the last day in Singapore we intended to buy some bus tickets, climb a mountain, with 9km walk and see a reservoir in the rain forest. The end of Singapore's wet season intervened though and we ended up buying some bus tickets, having a huge curry and then getting a full body massage! Little did we know on entry that they took the words 'full body' very seriously, and after a while hands went a wandering and we were told we could be massaged further if we paid a little more. Resisting this proved difficult, but a swift exit was made!

Next morning we caught the bus to Kuala Lumpur, the bus driver constantly commenting on how tall we were. I was greeted with the line 'Do you play basketball for Brazil?' We were also warned about hitting our heads on the way out etc. Funny lad though and very helpful. When we stopped at some services in Malaysia our eyes opened wide. Now dealing with Ringets (5 to the pound) we were astonished at all the food that as on offer and how cheaply. We went for roasted duck noodle (about one pound). We also had some greasy Chinese thing (20p). On arrival in Kuala Lumpur we took the monorail across the city (22p) and arrived in Chow Kit, where we were to stay. That evening we took a walk round the infamous chow kit street markets (in monsoon rain) and ate the largest Naan I have ever seen (40p). This one Naan served amply for our entire dinner.

I don't know if it was the Naan, but something caught me out in a similar way to our arrival in Lima, and I was up all night with a tremendous stomach ache. I went from pure excitement at all the culinary options to eating KFC chips within about 24 hours. Things are settling though and we have just enjoyed another curry after spending today sorting out our Indian visa (don't ask), exploring KL's Chinatown and the historic centre. An evening walk beckons to get closer to the sight which dominates the skyline here - the Petronas Towers.

Bad luck, a change of plans and finding Nemo

The moment we set foot back on the mainland, after Fraser Island, the heavens decided to open again! Thankful that we had had 3 perfect days of weather we weren't too worried and used our last day in Rainbow Beach to chill with new friends, share more Fraser stories and have our first OZ BBQ (even if it was UK BBQ weather) and duly piled on the meat for a fantastic feed and a great way to end an incredible few days.


Next stop was Airlie Beach and a three day sailing trip around the Whitsunday Islands, paradisaical in every sense of the word, and so still travelling with Irish Steve the Leprechaun who was booked on the same boat as us, we braved another night bus with excitement running high. However on arriving in Airlie Beach we found yet more heavy showers and some light breezes to boot. Slightly annoyed that we were going to have to sleep on a wet deck in the days ahead, we headed out for yet more volleyball world records in the Iriganji-free lagoon and afterwards a few beers and some NRL viewing. By the following day, these light breezes had picked up dramatically before finally, upon check-in, the bombshell was dropped, the boat was cancelled and with a tight time schedule and no obvious weather improvement foreseeable, our Whitsunday dream was over! All the good luck we have been having, and the disasters that have been following in our wake, have finally caught up with us with devastating consequences.

A time for a change of plans to turn this bad fortune around was decided upon, and after moving our funds over to a Great Barrier Reef trip in Cairns we made a big call to move our flight forward to Singapore by 4 days with Australia not holding much more interest for us and time looking short in Asia. We then proceeded to get 'Transmogified' on Goon to drown our sorrows and hatch new plans, under the severe influence to Fruity Lexia.

The one last box we were both desperate to tick before leaving OZ was the Great Barrier Reef and with Cyclone warnings constant we crossed our fingers and prayed to the gods for some mercy. Thankfully they finally obliged and we set sail and what turned out to be an unforgettable day.

Come 6.45 the alarms went off and we were ready to roll, the first stop was Green Island for a an hour or so chill before heading out to the Wall, a famous part of the Reef that only our boat, the 'Ocean Freedom' goes too. A quick stop to devour some delicious lunch was then taken before we jumped in the slightly choppy, 28 degree water for some snorkeling and were treated to some spectacular views, with the reef in touching distance even from the surface. However, we didn't have long before it was time to don our diving equipment, both slightly nervous with Steve losing his diving virginity and me failing miserably with a rubbish sinus system at the last attempt. But with crazy Becky at our side it could not have been any better. In the 30 minutes we saw some of the best Reef the GBR has to offer with hundreds of different types of fish and coral, including Nemo, and even managed to get down to 9m, much deeper than other first time divers. The pictures we took on a cheap underwater camera don't really do this underwater paradise justice and it was certainly on of the best things we have done on the trip so far. The only dodgy point being when my body, which had not enjoyed going down too much, liked coming up even less and saw thousands of tiny stars on the way up which required a long sit down afterwards. Not fun. The trip concluded with a glass bottom boat ride and some more incredible food, if Carlsburg made day trips.....









We concluded the day with our hostel's, Asylum (prison themed hostel...), Mad Monday Pub Crawl which got very messy, very quickly with plenty of games and new friends being made. A great way to round off one of the best days of the tour so far and our last major day in OZ. The next blog post will be coming from Continent number 4 of the trip....

Sun, Sea, Sand, Sports, Surfing, Super-lash and Driving around in a Really Cool, Big 4x4

We arrived in Noosa having not booked any accommodation on the basis that it seemed so easy to find it along this east coast. We had not however banked on another Australian monsoon and so on arrival we simply ran into the back of the nearest hostel minibus. We were told that there were only rooms left in a dorm that did not have water but our lack of motivation to find anything better saw us agree on the basis that we were going to be given a better price. After about ten minutes in the room the plumber turned the water back on. Bonus. In fact this hostel turned out to be a find. It was here that we met up with Millie and Josie, another English pairing that had discovered Goon. After a terrible showing in the game of killer pool in the hostel we played cards together into the evening. After a morning dip in the hostel pool we hit up charity shops in town to find Stu a replacement for his jumper and spotted a tasty blue woollen number (6 dollars can’t be bad for a sailor’s jumper). We then grabbed a surf board and embraced the showers to get some more practise and had a pretty successful session on Noosa main beach. In the evening we managed to find Jaimey and Ruth from Brisbane tales and a worm two rooms down from us! Cue another night of Goon, cards and cookies.

The next day found us on a bus to rainbow beach, following behind Josie and Millie on the OZ Experience, whom we shared another morning swim with and walked with to Noosa lookout for what is almost certainly a fantastic view on a sunny day...

The bus actually stopped outside our hostel in Rainbow (this town is fairly small) and we found ourselves in the same dorm as the girls again! Literally everyone is here to go to the island and the tours leave everyday, the whole hostel is banging to the sound of drunken dirty groups returning or groups getting spanked in a bid to get to know each other, so we settled in and prepared ourselves for the start of our Fraser experience.

Josie and Stu cleared the lungs with a morning run along the beach before we all went to the local (rather posh) tennis club where the girls put us to shame. The Millie Forehand was particularly devastating! We had a rather lengthy briefing in the afternoon, where we met the other 6 troops who would be joining us – Chris and Jenny the horny German couple (the former a ladatronic drink disposal unit, the latter an argumentative witch), Rene their speedo wearing countryman and his partner Kat, Maggie the Goon addicted super chef and Steve the Irish lashhound. The ten of us put in the Goon and beer order before taking advantage of the happy hour deals on Jugs to get to know each other.

In the morning we had another talking to, this time regarding the obscene amount of food we were being burdened with, how to drive a Toyota Landcruiser Troop Carrier along the world’s largest sand island and how to pack all this food and drink and camping gear and ten people neatly on the roof and inside. Stress was placed on the need to buy ice to keep the alcohol cold and how best to set up a banging beach party which, with seven jeeps going our day, each one Goon fuelled and containing a boom box, would not be difficult. We were given a rough itinery, a map and tide times and told to ‘get amongst it’ by Merv, who was very Australian and holds the Fraser Island petrol record.

We headed out in convoy, locked wheels in 4WD and left Merv at the ferry, which meant we were on our own, totally free to bez up and down the island exploring it’s delights. The first major stop was Lake McKensie which was totally unreal – perfectly clear waters and bleached white sand – the perfect spot for some serious volleyball and swimming. The drive there was pretty ace too, your man Steve whizzed us along the sand and Speedo Rene took us over the inland rough stuff, difficult driving terrain which I had the pleasure of negotiating on the way back after lunch and, crucially, after the Goon had been opened. What proceeded to occur in the back of the jeep as I was bouncing us all through the rainforest was pure and simple debauchery. Stu was meant to take over half way to the beach, he was simply in no fit state to do so. When I expressed a wish to change drivers and get Goon filled myself a hand stand competition broke out and on discussion we concluded that Steve, the only man foolish enough to want to take the wheel should be banned due to the amount of ethanol already pumping through his veins. I had to take us all the way to camp, but on Merv’s advice cracked a can at the wheel and joined the spirit (don’t try this on public roads children.) I had the time of my life cruising along a sun drenched beach nearing dusk, and in the back Stu managed to feed Maggie an even greater amount of Goon so that for the rest of the evening at least someone in the camp had to be on ‘Maggie watch’. During the responsible game of ‘I have never’ we managed to prize enough information out of Chris to ensure a serious domestic followed...

We managed to get all 7 jeeps in one camp and cooked up some steak, tatties and salad. At one point there was threat of a shower, which sent everyone running and climbing about trying to fix tarps over the stoves, but after a few minutes Mother Nature gave up and that was the last time we even saw a cloud. Such was the haphazard nature of our camping that night that a fair few (wild and apparently very dangerous) Dingos were attracted in. They were kept at bay by the 10 members of the Irish jeep who between them in 3 days consumed 44 litres of Goon, 5 crates of beer, 2 bottles of Jager and 2 bottles of Vodka and were still drinking at 6 in the morning. We heard a rumour that one of them was actually woken in a sand dune by one licking his ear, but then again we also heard a story that one of the said Irish shouted ‘sit’ at a pack of Dingos and one actually did. Believe what you want, but these are the lads that stopped to buy ice and instead drank 8 Jager-Bombs each at three in the afternoon!

A swift, excellently executed team pack up saw us ‘leaving no trace’ but about 7 in the morning (you simply can’t sleep after dawn). We sped north to Indian head via a ship wreck and Eli creek, another beautiful spot to dip in fresh water. We climbed to the lookout and surveyed the beauty of the island before heading back south (somehow leaving a tent with the Irish who were passed out on the beach) and headed back inland to lake Allom where we thought we would be able to chill our bronzed bodies in some more fresh water. It turned out that this lake was reserves for turtles, who were very friendly but left us still feeling warm, so we returned to Eli creek, swam and broke the volleyball world record.

The second night’s camp was far more organised, and the girls did a job with the Thai chicken curry before we got back on the Goon and played the world’s largest game of ‘Ring of Fire’. It was later this evening that we found Steve asleep on the beach, a sight far less beautiful than the superb stars that were twinkling above us. In the morning we were a little fragile. When we opened our cool box we realised why. There was one can of beer floating all alone. Everything else had been consumed. Cornflakes and toast to the rescue.

The last day was mainly spent on a walk to and from and dip in Lake Wabby. This was after Stu’s antics trying to park the Jeep in gear with his foot on the clutch! We also saw a ‘sandblow’ on the way, which for all intent and purpose was a very cool (but stinking hot) desert.
Time to go home and remove sand from every orifice know to man. Quiz in the evening at the hostel and a very deep sleep. Wawawooey!

A very wet Byron Bay and Brisbane

With the first Premier Bus navigated safely, we arrived in Byron Bay ready to undertake the highly anticipated activity of surfing. Under the guidance of the surfing Guru ‘Wapu’ and his stunning assistant Diva we hit Lennox Head beach and attempted to rip curl some waves. However, even with excellent tuition and skilfully crafted, sand-draw pictures, surfing is not easy, especially with conditions not playing into our hands. By the half way break all we had really managed was being experts in how to fall off and sometimes not even get lying on the board at all! But, whatever they put in the oranges during the break worked as afterwards, both of us began to drastically improve and managed to stand up and enjoy some wave-powered propulsion. Also, as Wapu had said at the start ‘the best surfer is the one having the most fun’, and we certainly loved every minute, even if our bodies weren’t agreeing.

Our hostel in Byron was a little out of the way/4km outside of Byron itself. It also seemed to have more staff than guests with most of Tel Aviv staying there. However it did an excellent job in allowing us to take a few days out to relax after rushing around for the last six months. We did however also manage another trip to Byron beach with a hostel surf board for attempt two, but the board was far too small to do anything too crazy but a nice way to kill a few hours and watch some pros up close. Any other beach trip was avoided due to east coast beach being on a Tsunami warning after the recent Chilean earthquake (yet another natural disaster that has followed in our wake), cue chilling by the pool and adminating heavily.

Now, unfortunately, I have to be honest with you. For a while we have been bragging about the weather, and rightly so, but it has come back to bite us. Since mid-way through Byron and the last 3 days in Brisbane it has not stopped raining! Not once! It has got to the stage where Ark building is being debated. And it’s not just light drizzle either; this is monsoon-style stuff! Don’t ever let an Aussie tell you the weather in England is crap. This has meant that our time in Brisbane has been spent playing hostel Bingo, a pub quiz, a rain fuelled self guided tour of the city with Northampton ladies Jamie and Ruth, getting malaria tablets, Steve getting medical advice on possibly being pregnant and a few Goon fuelled evenings. However things took a turn for the better on finding that the Socceroos (Australian national football team) were playing Indonesia in a 2011 Asia Cup qualifier and World Cup warm up game, so we snapped up some $25 tickets and prayed to the heavens for a let up in the rain.



Come 7pm by some divine miracle, the rain finally stopped! With our free banners and tea towels at the ready, along with another 20,440 spectators at the SunCorp stadium, we watched the Roos in action against a somewhat diminutive and hopeless Indonesian side. We were lucky enough to be next to the Indonesian fans who didn’t stop singing and cheering all game, even though their side only had 20% of the possession and spent more time laying on the floor than playing football. Saying all this however, the Roos’ could only labour to a 1-0 victory, even with over 20 shots on goal. The final whistle brought an end to an up and down time in Brisbane, next up Noosa and hopefully some sunshine!

G'day Australia. Aww Yeah, Yeah Nah.

Another painless flight took us to Sydney international where we bought an exorbitantly priced train ticket into the centre of the city. In fact, Australia seems like it may be a fairly expensive place, not least because we have gone all in and booked pretty much the entire month ahead thanks to super organised, ideas full Melle who basically planned it for us. The only thing that is not expensive is ‘Goon’, which to the uninitiated is Australian boxed wine. Ten dollars (Six quid) buys you 4.4 litres. 4.4 Litres!! Dangerous to say the least, the stuff simply never runs out!

From our hostel in Sydney we beat a mean pace round the city, walking approximately five million miles to take in almost everything it had to offer, most notably the Sydney harbour bridge and Opera house, which unlike other famous landmarks we have seen actually looks surprising different in reality, in this case thanks to the fact that the roof is covered in Swedish tiles, which you simply don’t appreciate from pics on TV. We strolled through parks and the botanical gardens, through Hyde park, oxford street etc...! We also grabbed our bus pass to cover the country. Back on the buses!! In the eve we acquired some of said Goon and promptly got battered. Stu managed to make it into town to meet up with Jo Lowe, who coincidentally happened to be in town. His Goon infested state saw him ‘helped’ from the bar by big burly men however, a fact that was lost on Stu until he was reminded by Jo in the morning. I fared little better, kicking back at the hostel with some girls who I somehow managed to insult greatly, and who have since not spoken to me. Goon is dangerous indeed!!

The next day we carried rather heavy heads to Coogie beach, which is very nice. From there we took the coastal walk to Bondi and met a nice Irish girl who I personally blame for introducing us to Melle. She told us about the travel agency in her hostel that Melle managed and even let us walk back with her and pointed us inside. After meeting Melle it was game over. We initially wanted only to book a day trip to the Blue mountains for the next day, but we left several hundred pounds worse of, having booked this trip but also a three day, two night trip around Fraser Island (self driving jeeps round the beaches), a two day two night sailing trip round the Whitsundays (great barrier reef), a four hour surfing lesson in Byron Bay and a total of 7 nights accommodation. She also printed out a calendar, arranged all these things, told us which buses to take, held our hands, warmed our milk and put us to bed. She was amazing, and we are now fully set!

On our last day in Sydney we did the Blue mountains trip on ‘The Happy Coach’, which, among other things left very early and was driven by a very hairy and very Australian man. We stopped off on the way to the mountains to drop in on some kangaroos, which are very cool animals. We also spotted some kookaburra and ate some value chocolate chip cookies (hairy Australian was also fond of these).

When we reached the mountains we saw some spectacular vistas and were given some spiel before Mr. Happy sent us on our own into the bush. To be fair it was all part of a cunning plan to avoid the other tours, he drove the bus round to a pickup point and ran in from the other end to meet us, but not before he gave us a medi-kit and the low down on all the dangerous snakes and how best to deal with a bite should one occur. It was in a tentative manner that we entered the bush! He re-emerged whilst everyone was still intact however and we made our way to Wentworth falls before taking a very awesome cliff side walk to the coach.

Lunch beckoned after this and we were given pies at the three sisters, an important aboriginal site, after which we entered ‘scenic world’ which we were sceptical about, but actually really enjoyed, not least our ride on the world’s steepest railway (52 degrees!) down into the rainforest, at fairly high speed accompanied by Indiana Jones music. Hilarious. We wandered around the rainforest before climbing the Furber steps out to meet the bus and head back.

That eve we caught a night bus to Byron Bay with Emma the Israeli and our first taste of Premier motor Services seemed a pleasant one, though we prefer a little more recline on a night bus seat if we’re being picky...